What Sales Taught Me – Part 1: When Confidence Took the First Hit

Sales has a unique way of amplifying numbers.

When you deliver, recognition follows quickly.
When you don’t, the silence can feel just as loud.

When Nothing Was “Wrong” — But Something Still Shifted

There was a phase in my sales journey when, on the surface, nothing seemed wrong.

  • I had experience
  • I understood the business
  • I knew how to navigate complex stakeholders and conversations

And yet, after a few important deals didn’t go through and a quarter didn’t land the way I had expected, something shifted internally.

It wasn’t skill that took the hit.
It was confidence.

When Results Started Speaking Louder Than Experience

During that phase, I noticed subtle changes in myself.

I began questioning decisions I would normally stand by without hesitation.
Conversations with senior stakeholders felt heavier than before.
I replayed meetings in my head, wondering what I could have said differently or what I might have missed.

Objectively, my capability hadn’t changed.
But pressure had quietly started shaping how I thought.

That was my first real understanding of the inner game of sales.

How Pressure Changed the Way I Showed Up

Sales pressure doesn’t always announce itself as stress.

For me, it showed up quietly, in small but meaningful ways:

  • Overthinking conversations that once felt natural
  • Playing safe instead of being decisive
  • Reacting quickly instead of pausing to reflect

Fear of missing targets narrowed my thinking.
Instead of leading conversations with clarity, I found myself chasing outcomes.

What I realised later was this:
the more I focused on proving myself, the harder it became to perform at my best.

Learning to Reset After Rejection

One of the most important lessons sales taught me during that period was the importance of resetting — internally.

Not by ignoring disappointment.
Not by pretending outcomes didn’t matter.

But by learning to:

  • Pause
  • Reflect honestly
  • Return to the next conversation without carrying the emotional weight of the previous one

This shift wasn’t dramatic, but it was powerful.

It allowed me to show up with more presence, make clearer decisions, and stop letting one outcome define the next interaction.

Detaching Self-Worth from Numbers

For a long time, I didn’t realise how closely my sense of self-worth was tied to results.

When numbers were good, confidence followed naturally.
When they weren’t, self-doubt crept in quietly.

Detaching self-worth from outcomes didn’t reduce my ambition.
If anything, it grounded me.

I noticed I became:

  • Calmer in high-stakes conversations
  • Less reactive under pressure
  • More intentional in how I showed up with clients, stakeholders, and teams

Ironically, performance improved once the internal pressure eased.

What This Experience Taught Me About Sales

Looking back, this phase taught me something sales training rarely addresses.

Sales performance doesn’t usually break because of a lack of skill.
It breaks when confidence erodes and recovery takes longer than it should.

The sales professionals who sustain performance over time are not immune to pressure.
They’ve simply learned how to manage the inner game better.

They focus on:

  • Listening more deeply, especially under stress
  • Leading from intent rather than reacting to the environment
  • Showing up authentically instead of performing confidence

These are not tactics.
They are internal shifts.

The Real Measure of Sales Success

Sales taught me that success isn’t about never falling short.

It’s about how quickly you recover, recalibrate, and stand tall again.

Skills get you into the game.
The inner game keeps you there.

Closing Reflection

Sales organisations invest heavily in tools, frameworks, and training.

What often gets overlooked is the internal experience of performance —
the confidence dips, the self-doubt, and the pressure that quietly shapes behaviour.

Yet this is where the most meaningful growth happens.

For me, learning to work on the inner game didn’t just improve results.
It changed how I experienced the journey itself.

If this reflection resonated, coaching offers a space to explore these inner shifts more intentionally.

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